I’m not saying geocachers are not honest and upstanding members of society but we can be super-competitive whilst simultaneously too proud to admit it! We have also been known to hide the true extent of our geocaching addiction to muggle friends and relatives, simply because they just don’t get it. All this means we don’t always express exactly what we actually mean, so here’s a handy guide to what a geocacher might be really trying to tell you…
1. What they say: I’m going to grab a cache, back in 10 minutes!
What they might mean: There’s a loop of 15 caches where I’m headed and I will find it very difficult to just look for one, so realistically I won’t be back for at least three hours.
2. What they say: Quick easy find.
What they might mean: I spent 45 minutes at GZ, cut my hands on some thorns, stepped in dog poop before eventually finding the stupid cache, and now I don’t want to talk about.
3. What they say: Well done to Eftie F. Hound for bagging the FTF; I just missed out by 3 minutes – I guess I’ll have to be quicker next time!
What they might mean: I’m so annoyed about being second that I’m very likely to have a tantrum as soon as I’m safely inside the house.
4. What they say: There were a few spider webs surrounding the cache so I was hesitant to do a fingertip search.
What they might mean: I accidentally touched a spiderweb and screamed bloody murder for 5 minutes straight.
5. What they say: Wow, nano caches are so tiny and amazing!
What they might mean: I am new and still amazed at everything.
6. What they say: Of course it doesn’t matter to me if you’ve found more caches – it’s not a competition!
What they might mean: Everything is a competition and I don’t like losing. *Starts searching for flights to do the E.T. power trail.*
7. What they say: These Lock & Locks will be so useful for storing food!
What they might mean: I’ve already decided where they’re going to be hidden and it will be in the woods, rather than the kitchen cupboards.
8. What they say: I’m not sure if that resort is exactly what we need for our vacation.
What they might mean: I’ve checked the map and there is one solitary cache in a 20 mile radius. I will not waste my time off work in such a place.
9. What they say: This cache is just around the corner from my house but I was in a different town/state/country when it was published but it didn’t really bother me!
What they might mean: I will bore my friends’ ears off for years about that FTF that ‘should have been mine’.
10. What they say: I’m more of a quality over quantity geocacher myself.
What they might mean: Quality over quantity is important as long as I stay ahead of you.
11. What they say: GZ can get a bit muddy
What they might mean:
12. What they say: I’m not addicted, I can quit anytime I want.
What they might mean: Just kidding, I’m already thinking about my next cache.
Have I forgotten any? Let me know in the comments!
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